17 year olds will be the death of me.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
