Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
