Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
