I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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