conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
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The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
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Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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