i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Randomize
