I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Randomize
