Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
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