I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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