it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
In other news, I just burned my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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