im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
