whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
