..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
