Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
