So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
