Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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