THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
