I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
