i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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