i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
