why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
