singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
