At least make sure they are 18
Why
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
