I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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