so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
