when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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