Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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