we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
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