im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
