It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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