I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
