sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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