Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
