that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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