Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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