My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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