It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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