when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
