I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
