opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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