Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
