Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
