So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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