i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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