Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
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I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
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i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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