Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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