used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
