Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
