It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
