have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
