We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
