Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
