She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
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i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
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Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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