I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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