i jhust puked up my retainher.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Randomize