i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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