I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
