Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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