i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
